I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
