Heybabeimwearingurpanties
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
