Pappa wants mamma naked
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
