I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
