Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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