i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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