i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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