Ambien. No doubt about it.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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