I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
4 words: hood of his car
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
