ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I don't think brook has ever known best
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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