I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
