Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
