I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
