New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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