the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
