you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
