She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
