Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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