We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
