just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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