i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
