sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
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