I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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