it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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