It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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