The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
