Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Randomize
