It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Dignity is for republicans.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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