You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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