We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
