I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
