I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
