My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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