I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
