Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
