I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
