Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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