She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Randomize
