We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
