apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
