i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Randomize
