Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
