Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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