The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
