At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
