this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
