her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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