The maid of honor just puked.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Houston, we have a blender
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Randomize
