pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
