the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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